Anita Dickson, 23 years old
Last year at a conference I was talking to one of my mentors about how it felt to be in the final year of a PhD. Her reply summed it up:. Relationships are incompatible with PhDs, seems to be the conclusion. Put most simply, being the partner of a PhD student largely means accepting that the Thesis is the biggest part of dating a grad student of your livesand is a far bigger player in how your relationship goes than either of you are. But how does that translate to dating?
Most dating is challenging. Pressure, uncertainty, and miscommunication are some of the potential hazards that lie, sometimes hidden, along the road to a healthy relationship. But, when one of the partners in the duo is a PhD student, things can turn from potentially hazardous dating a grad student downright masochistic. It is possible to successfully date a PhD student, although you're probably going to need a plan, and you're definitely going to need to be willing to work at it. Know your PhD partner.
His idea of Friday night fun isn't likely beer-chugging and Jello shooter contests. In fact, if you are used to dating undergrad peers, a relationship with a grad student can be substantially different. When you can make the most of your time together, keep your emotions in check and take an interest in your partner's field of study, you'll maximize the opportunity for a mutually satisfying relationship with a grad student. She has come far in her academic career and can no longer afford to blow off studying for an impromptu romantic evening. Instead, she might have 30 or dating a grad student hours of laboratory work scheduled in a single week, leaving little time to focus on romancing her partner.
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This is probably an unpopular opinion but I enjoyed grad school way more than I did college. I appreciated the smaller class sizes, the more intensive research work I got to do, and the ability to work alongside professors I'd admired for years. The academic experience wasn't the only way grad school was different from college, though. After two years as a grad student, I learned that dating in grad school brought with dating a grad student an entirely new rulebook I hadn't read in college. As a grad student, you're in a different phase of your adult life. You're most likely in charge of all of your finances now, you probably have fewer roommates, and hopefully, you're more inclined to do your laundry yourself rather than taking it all home for your mom.
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Evan has dating a grad student about this before. A 48 year old man may lust for a 26 year old, but the 26 year old wants a man within a few years of her own age just as a 50 year old woman wants a man within a few years of her own age. Men are wired one way, women are wired another. Sorry to burst your bubble, bro. They like 30 and up. Most men I know see them as children.